It's been quite a while since the last time I posted here. I was not able to update you with what was happening to me in the past year of my life because I was too busy with balancing my time for work and also of the current struggle I am still facing. I decided to post something new, a few days before my birthday, because of what I just received from the news. The group that has been my medicine has started a new campaign, and this is just what I dreamed and wished for a long time. I never thought it would come true.
BTS, Beyond the Scene, or popularly known as Bangtan Sonyeondan has launched a campaign #BTSLoveMyself #ENDViolence together with the UNICEF. Love Myself Campaign aims to help people especially the children who experience different forms of violence - domestic violence, sexual violence, school violence, bullying online and offline and such cases. Violence of any kind to children bring sufferings, life-long aftermath that extends to adulthood. Unfortunately, for some victims, others died because of this. I, for myself, can attest to that.
Big Hit and BTS together with Korean Committee for UNICEF affiliated with United Nations spent six months in preparation for this. Specifically, our loves Big HIT and BTS looked for an organization which promotes also the same value as they are promoting since 2013. UNICEF is the best partner.
BTS wants to share the love they've been receiving since the beginning, which according to Kim Namjoon they do not deserve. (I beg to disagree.) It has been their dream to give back to the society in the biggest and humblest way possible not just through music but in things more mature and beyond that. Though the seven boys cannot change the world completely, by this way they can start a change. The Love Myself campaign is an extension of their concerns. As it stated in the official website, "It is high time to act and make a difference."
Love Myself fund will be raised for the next two years in four ways: First, Bangtan Sonyeondan and their home company, Big Hit, started it by donating 500 million KRW. Second, 3% of the income from physical sales of Love Yourself Album will be donated too. Third, 100% income from the sales of official goods for the Love Myself campaign will also go directly to fund this project. And fourth, donations at the donation desks installed by UNICEF.
To say that my heart is overwhelmed by this news is an understatement.
As you all know, when I was a child I was a victim of sexual abuse. Repeatedly abused by the man who supposedly took care of me, (My mom's lover. I couldn't call him a stepfather, he was never a father to me.). Now that I am already turning 30 years old in a few days, I am still struggling and suffering because of this. In the past months I found myself being drowned by my depression, I cried a lot. Memories of the past keep coming back like ghosts that haunt me every now and then. Yes, I thought I was already okay because I managed to stay quiet and doing okay at work and in another things. BUT NO, I AM STILL NOT OKAY UNTIL NOW. I am avoiding people, I'm scared to talk with anyone right now. I do not open my personal accounts and I tend to be quiet most of the time. When I'm alone, I cry a lot. There is something that keeps me sad all the time.
The only thing that keeps my company is BTS and ARMY. Through their songs I feel I am not alone, I feel genuine love. As I always say to my mutuals, my fellow ARMYs, I believe that God has given BTS as a gift to me during this point of my life. Like my introduction here, I consider BTS as my Medicine that keeps me sane.
The violence I suffered during childhood still affects me until now that I am old. I have no one to talk to. I cannot say it to my family and friends because they will be left heartbroken for sure. I was too scared when I was a child to tell it to others so I kept mum all throughout those years for the sake of my family's safety and reputation. Now, I cannot file a case anymore, because the statue of limitations is over and the criminal is already old perhaps by now. To give more hatred to him is not an answer. I cannot show my real self to people while talking about this because of so many things I have to consider and so the consequence is I suffer alone. And perhaps I will suffer alone until my last day here on earth.
That is why to see this campaign for children done by BTS, Love Myself, is something I will cherish and support all my life. I couldn't change what has happened to me. But I can still save another life, I can save a young co-survivor to live a life with lesser pains than we had.
I had to dry up my tears when I received this news to be able to write this post. I have to give my penny for thought for this act of kindness that our loves have shown.
To end this note, I would like to quote Kim Namjoon's speech in Billboard Music Awards 2017, "Remember ARMY, 'Love myself, Love yourself.'"
Watch the Campaign Video.
Click here to support: LOVE MYSELF CAMPAIGN. #BTSLoveMyself #ENDViolence
